In all the wedding planning hoopla we sometimes forget that the wedding is just one day. The marriage will hopefully last a lifetime, and both our lives will forever be different. I was reminded of this the other day when I decided I needed…no wanted, a new car.
First of all, I am not a young bride. I am in my early 40s and have lived on my own and taken care of myself for a really long time. I have always made my own financial decisions with very limited advice from anyone else because ultimately I am accountable for my own bills.
Now however I have a partner which is amazing, but admittedly still odd. Believe me Andy is the best partner I could have ever picked, but I would not be honest if I was did not say that marriage is a big change for me.
I have lived on my own for fifteen years, made all my own choices. Now I ask someone else what they want for dinner, oh and I have to listen.
Tanita Rule #1 if you already know what you want don’t ask because they probably don’t want the same thing.
Tanita Rule #2 you should ask some times, because they don’t want to eat what you want all the time either.
Also I have plenty of closet space for one. Technically it probably plenty of closet space for three or four, but I have a lot of clothes. Now I am spring cleaning not just to make room for the new spring trends, but to make room for someone else. This weekend there was some success clearing out closet space but just as I placed the last of my clothes in the guest room closet the rack came out the wall. Andy now has closet space, but all my clothes are on the floor and we need a handy man.
I am not the only one going through changes. Andy is moving to another state, finding a new job, making new friends, sharing a bathroom counter for the first time. So he is experiencing changes on a different level.
When you are getting married there will be a lot of changes, big and small. I know for both of us it will take time, honesty and communication, but I am looking forward to the challenge and no longer being a party of 1.
So back to the car. After I explained why I wanted to look into a new car now, even though we are still paying off the wedding, he understood, and said two things. Get what you want, we can work it out, and you want to go look this weekend?
I so LOVE him.
So remember, no matter how long that to do list. Take time for each other, have a date night or two or ten. It is going to be more important to nurture your relationship than it is to have every last DIY project completed for that one day.